


"To The Best-Selling Abled Authors Who Love to Write About Disability"

by ChaoticCliche23



Category: Original Work
Genre: Ableism, Disability, Free Verse, Original Recipe, Poetry, Slam Poetry, angry, empowerment, poem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-09 14:55:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20996666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticCliche23/pseuds/ChaoticCliche23
Summary: A poem for every disabled person screaming alone against the silence of violent apathy.I can hear you.





	"To The Best-Selling Abled Authors Who Love to Write About Disability"

I have no love for you  
or anyone like you  
who read your book  
full of opinions about  
your "stupid"  
Autistic child  
and thought,  
"Wow, what an inspiration"

I am sick and tired of having disabled lives  
made for profit for abled audiences  
bookshelves upon bookshelves of abled white women  
filling every page with fantasies of genocide  
in the only example of premeditation  
that doesn't end with CPS at your door  
murder doesn't count if you're killing a monster  
it's a mercy kill  
an act of compassion  
You Just Don't Understand How Hard It Is  
I don't know, Judith,  
after the 5th memoir  
and like, the 10th follow-up Lifetime movie  
I think we got the point  
you don't want us  
we get it  
go off I guess  
Resentment is a lot prettier  
when it's wrapped in the pristine bow of Suburbia  
always the monster, never the victim

And heaven forbid we complain  
being raised in disdain should be appreciated  
we should be grateful  
no one else could love a monster  
abuse is still attention  
and anger is a luxury reserved  
for those in the light  
if we do it, it just proves their point  
"The only disability is a bad attitude"  
aka "Smile,  
we can't sell bitterness"

When you're not dreaming about killing us  
you're getting off to the idea of "saving us"  
convinced we're suffering simply because we're not you  
forget about the system being rigged to keep us poor  
and the fact that some of us still can't get through doors  
No,  
you look at the few of us you haven't managed  
to infantilize  
or demonize  
and decide that what we really need to fix us  
is a good fuck  
How special life must be  
when you think you're Belle from Beauty and the Beast  
but life is not a fucking Disney movie  
your dick isn't magic  
and the power of your pussy cannot heal the sick  
Write yourself into the pages all you want  
but we do not exist to give you purpose 

I know, it's wild,  
to believe that monsters might actually enjoy their lives  
that they might even thrive  
without your sacred blessings of validation  
because what could ever be the point of life  
if we never bother to make ourselves worthy  
of your love?

But if I recall  
the only time I've ever wished I were dead  
was not because disability was too unbearable  
but so I could get away from people like you  
and finally have peace from the images of my child self  
ripping random pieces of herself off  
and twisting into unnatural shapes  
is this the part that offends?  
or this one?  
or this?  
If I never speak a word of my own again, will you love me?  
Would you like me?  
Would you at least fucking look at me???

The question of self-worth never came from our mouths  
it came from yours  
and every time I read this shit  
page after page after page  
of you bullying children into submission  
so they turn into perfect reflections  
parroting your every whim  
even when they dream  
I can hear the panicked voice  
hidden in invisible ink  
trying to figure out what it is that you want  
the voices you've muted are screaming  
but you're only interested in hearing the echo of your own

You left us to plead and beg in the shadows  
always wanting the light you hoard  
adore your overlords  
or be left to rot in the void  
but instead of shriveling away into nothing  
we became nocturnal  
moon flowers that show their true beauty in the full moon light  
warmed ourselves by the fires of spite  
The monsters you created to keep us feared and undesired  
instead became our teachers  
arming us with the fruitful knowledge we were denied  
their words etched in my brain with pride,  
"You Are a God Among Insects and Never Let Anyone Tell You Differently"  
It is never "Me before You"  
it is always "Better You Die Than I"  
And I  
would rather you "Bury Me in the Ocean With My Ancestors  
Who Jumped From Ships Because They Knew  
That Death was Better  
Than Bondage"  
and even "If the World Continues to Be My Enemy,  
I Will Fight Like I Always Have"  
and survive

In case no one's ever told you  
We don't want you either 

You made us into monsters  
and one day,  
you will regret  
giving us Teeth  
and Claws

**Author's Note:**

> This is my absolute favorite poem from my poetry portfolio. I hope you like it as much as I do! It actually gained me a reputation at school after performing it a few times lol. I'm planning on performing a version of this for slam poetry competitions in the future, so maybe you'll see it online someday! 
> 
> This is the uncut version, just for you, my amazing viewers ^_^


End file.
